Routine Alternatives March 5, 2014

 

I’m an extremely predictable person when it comes to breakfast. I take down a bowl, find a spoon, pour some cereal (one of three that I buy regularly) and then pour on some 1% milk. Swoosh the spoon around to get everything wet, leave it for a couple of minutes and then eat. I’m as dull as a koala bear on Thankgiving. Turkey? No thanks, I’ll stick to my leaves.

 

What’s a little odd about my routine is that when I travel, I allow for alternatives. In fact, I break away from just cereal and go for the gusto with yogurt, cheese, ham, bagels, cream cheese, and fruit depending on the free breakfast offered. Oh crap, I just realized why I eat differently when I’m away from home. Someone else does the shopping.

 

Change of the Day:  Break the breakfast routine even if it means you have to change what aisle you shop in.

Forever and Ever…Aw, Crap January 31, 2014

 

One of my favourite wedding songs is Randy Travis’s, “Forever and Ever, Amen.” But when the marriage doesn’t work out, it’s more like “Forever and Ever…Aw, Crap.” Sorry, I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s join the story where the fairytale begins…

 

I was married on January 31, 1986. Coincidentally, so was my husband.

 

I wore peach chiffon and the minister’s name was Swayze. (Just the name could make a girl swoozy in the 80’s.) We lit a wedding candle together. My husband and I, not swoozy Swayze. Then we invited our 16 guests to join us down the street at a Viennese cafe for lunch. Highlight of the meal? Our wedding cake. One tier. Round. It was not fruit cake. It was made of chocolate cream. Boo-ya!

 

You likely can’t tell from the story’s start that we went to Sudbury, Ontario for our honeymoon. Yup, Sudbury in January. Pleeease, try not to be jealous. I’m sure your ten-day honeymoon in Bali was lovely, too, even if you weren’t ankle deep in snow and ice in four-inch heels.

 

I don’t want to say that the Sudbury honeymoon was entirely to blame but 18 years later we separated. In the ten years since, neither of us has found the “one” after the one that was. I’ve had a couple of relationships, but I haven’t been interested in finding someone for a long time. I feel a little lazy in that department. You have to put effort into meeting new people. Why can’t someone just walk into my life and be the right person?

 

What’s that you say? I have to leave the house? Jeeez…why does love have to be so complicated?

 

Change of the Day: Stop being lazy. Show up where humans gather socially. After all, girl, peach chiffon is fashionable again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Out to the Furniture Pasture January 29, 2014

           

 

Dear Children,

Moving out can be an awesome experience. And, not just for your parents.

 

You will get a lesson in generosity. People who love you and hate their furniture will happily hand it over to help you out. Want a reupholstered 40-year-old rocking chair that squeaks without remorse when you land in it or try to get out? Or perhaps a set of oddly short mugs that came with a set of plates mom used in college? I didn’t like them then but I’m hoping you’ll like them now. Or at least get them out of the basement. How about some curtains made out of Grandma’s mother-of-the-groom dress circa 1978? They’re bright yellow and covered in lace. They’ll look great next to the rocker.

 

Okay, okay, I have a hidden agenda. I want new furniture throughout the house. Maybe a couple of nice lamps instead of the the ones that used to have shades. Maybe enough stuff gone that repainting the kitchen cupboards in today’s fashionable white would seem like a reachable goal. Do you need blinds? Because the ones I ordered in 1996 in beige but arrived more like pink need to go.

 

Funny what you live with when you’re busy raising kids. Now that they’re all going to be moving on, it seems silly to spend money on furniture just for me. Afterall, the ultimate plan is move back in with them.

Change of the Day: Buy something useful, but portable, like a new lamp or a mercedes. And, be sure I keep a current address for the kids.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Random Smug Testing January 21, 2014

Changing things can make you feel better about yourself. You can feel so good that you start counting how much better things are going and how others are still stuck with their old habits and how fantastic you are and if they only knew how amazing your life is they would stand in awe of your ability to overcome lethargy and transform your life into one of ease and maximum joy!

Clearly, smugness is an illness directly related to delusion.

Still smiling smugly as I report on changes made to-date:

1. Give up candy for 360 Days of the year – If we start counting from today, I am right on track.
2. Eat more oranges – Definitely easier when you buy oranges
3. Watch less violent/negative programming – I miss my friends on Criminal Minds but not the dead bodies.
4. Turn off tv and computer an hour before bed – Because I have insomnia, I can say this happens two out of three times nightly
5. Put things away – I definitely put them somewhere though I may not be able to count it as “away” unless “away” is a euphemism for “still at the top of the stairs.”
6. Listen to more music – Ready to challenge myself more in this department. Love ya, Buble, but sometimes a girl needs more than one man in her life
7. Comply with doc’s suggestion to put warm compress on my eyes twice a day – Sorry, I can’t see what this says. My eyes are all crusty.
8. Use my Buddh-ish-ism powers more often – People are entirely too cheerful already
9. Drink more water – Yum, she says mildly sarcastically even though she’s trying to comply.
10. Eat gluten free – Never got off the ground. Found out Raisin Bran is made with bran. Eating just the raisins wasn’t the same.
11. Learn a new skill: cake decorating – Iced cake. Did not ice cake well. Fortunately, it tasted just as good.
12. Pay attention to time – what you’re doing through the day – This is frightening. Do not do this at home.
13. Resupply the medicine chest for flu season – I keep waiting for a sale.
14. Get tested annually for colon cancer – Talk to me next January but in the meanwhile make YOUR appointment.
15. Bring your library books back and set a regular day to return books in the future – Theoretically, this is happening as soon as I find the books.
16. Bring your bottles back every two weeks – There are no cube trucks for sale locally at the moment.
17. Philomena, Leonardo, Is Just Another Word for Love – go to Star Cinema More – Went to Philomena at the Star. Movies are just one great habit to have.
18. Wash dog bowls daily – They lick them, you know. Licking is how they keep themselves clean. Shouldn’t it work on the bowls, too?
19. Be the Change – Volunteer -something small – David Tennant is coming to town soon. I volunteer to play his secret love in real life.
20. Changing Your Religion – Fantastic history programs bring insight to world religions and often play late at night. When I’m tossing and turning the Naked Archeologist keeps me company.
21. Changing the Cost of Our Choices – Flyers are marked and awaiting execution
22. Kitty Litter Does Not Change Itself – I realized my kids are moving out just so that they never have to change the kitty litter again.
23. The Retirement Environment – I have a terrific budget. I can see where all my money goes and goes and goes.
24. When Your Baby Bounces Out the Door – Boxes are being collected. That’s boxes of facial tissue. I’m getting a little weepy about this one.
25. The Momentum Mantra – My mantra, “Tend Your Own Garden First,” is a slightly paraphrased quote of a translation from Voltaire’s “Candide” that helps me focus on my inner world, my immediate world and then, much later, the outer world. There may be a tattoo in that someday.

Change of the Day: Rethink being so smug about all the changes you’re making. Somebody may drop in randomly and test the veracity of your claims.

How to Change the Cost of Our Choices January 17, 2014

The night was quiet. Shoppers nudged forward in their steady lines ready to slap down their credit cards. A long look at the content of their carts told me some of the story of their lives. Juice, cereal, diapers meant family. Cheese puffs, diet soda and chips meant hungry teenagers. That, or wanna be couch potatoes. The heaviest cart, laden with items from every corner of the store, each splashed with a logo from a company with enormous brand power, screamed budget overload. Bad planning. A lack of money sense and a desire for labels that could lead to their financial downfall. I looked around. Didn’t anyone else see this crisis-in-waiting? 

The other customers chatted to one another or stared glumly at the magazine rack as they waited for their turn to feed the till. Though I was up for it, it didn’t look like anyone else was ready for a debate on the brand cost of living. I stayed quiet even as my head exploded with money-saving tips. “They are grown-ups making grown-up choices,” I reminded myself. “Dumb choices,” I pointed out in return.  “Don’t be so hard on them,” I sparred, “I don’t see you reaching for the no-name laundry detergent.”  I had to admit I had a point.

Brand name products often do they job they say they will do. I like that. However, I also like to pay my gas bill so I try to find products I can use effectively without the big brand name behind them because I like to save money. I even like to save other people money. I would have rearranged that family’s cart but, thinking I might get carted off myself, I refrained. The buzz and bustle of the lines continued. I watched as the till swallowed the family’s disposable cash the way a lion eats a bird: aggressively and with much joy. Just glad it wasn’t me.

Change of the Day:  Look at which brands I’m willing to give up and how much I might save if I do.

Info: Saving on brands from Senior Living Magazine but relevant to anyone: http://abt.cm/1maqWVU.

Photo credit: http://www.nextnature.net.

 

 

 

 

 

 

No Pressure January 1, 2014

Sometimes doing things differently is uncomfortable. What if we don’t like the change we’ve made? What if we let ourselves down by not sticking with whatever the change was? Why not let go of those pressures and look at change as a gift to ourselves. Making changes is not about anyone else and change is also not an endurance test. With so many people making resolutions today I resolve not to make myself any promises. Instead I’ll give myself opportunities to do things differently and continue to enjoy the changes I like. It’s your life and in that there are no successes or failures, just an unfettered variety of experiences.

Today’s change is to put things away as they come into the house. Too often, things are left in a bag at the top of the stairs or on the counter in the kitchen before finally finding a home a long time later. I suspect, and may be able to prove, that putting Everything away will make finding it again easier.